It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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