i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I looked at my own cervix.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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