You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
