I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
