chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
if only i could text you this smell
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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