Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Randomize
