it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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