What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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