im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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