i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
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You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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