I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
