Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize