UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
