WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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