I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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