Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize