Me. At least after what I've been through.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
