Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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