Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize