I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Randomize
