I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
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