im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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