I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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