I need help removing her.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Randomize
