It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
