This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
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You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
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I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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