just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
