I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
you traded sex for a burrito?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Randomize
