Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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