so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
She even gives head with a lisp.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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