I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
