YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
