I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
