Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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