it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
