Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
