I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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