I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
