if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Randomize