no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
