You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
