Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
