Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
