she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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