and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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