This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I fill condoms, not promises.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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