Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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