did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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