Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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