I'm gonna have a badass scar
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
