this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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