Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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