member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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