Do you still have your period?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I need a burrito and a hug.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Randomize
