My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
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