Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
