i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
