Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
