i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
